A Letter From Me To My Dead Brother

11/24/10

Dear Rusten, I love you so much. I miss you more then I’d miss air. But I guess it’s okay if it was your time to go, but I don’t really think it was. But I bet you’re way happier, so in that case, enjoy it man, I bet its hella fun wherever you are. I guess since you’re way happier, I can be okay with this, somewhat. I will still look back on the memories and I will still cry, and I will still see people that remind me of you, and I will still see your car constantly around town, and I will still see your shoes, hands, and shirts on other people but now I will smile and think of you. I will smile and cry through the sentimental value of eating fully stuffed nachos while watching South Park. I love you Brother, you meant the world to me, but it’s time to let you go… to let you thrive and live on through your jacket and wise words once said, but written permanently. I love you, LOVE,

                         Alissa.

Your 15 year old sister that would sometimes annoy you but we got over that.

By Alissa Muhlestein ©

11/24/10

I can never really say I’ve gotten over you because I just can’t, but I feel like I’m coming to terms with this whole thing. I will always love and care about you. I will always miss our late night talks, our late night shenanigans, when we would hang out constantly. When we saw the Simpsons movie and before we went into the theatre or even got out of the car you showed me “Instie” and used him. Then the movie was even funnier even for me because your laughter provoked my own laughter, and made me feel even closer to you. I miss your hugs, they always made me feel better. You always smelled like axe, cigarettes and cold air, and felt secure. What I would give for one more of those amazing hugs… I will always miss you more then anything. There is nothing more in life then family bonds, the brotherly/sisterly bond we have will never be broken, no matter what. I love you. Alissa <3

          By Alissa Muhlestein ©